Session 2: Engaging with the Breath

Non-judging

When we begin practicing paying attention to the activity of our own mind, it is common to discover and to be surprised by the fact that we are constantly generating judgments about our experience. Almost everything we see is labeled and categorized by the mind. We react to everything we experience in terms of what we think its value is to us. Some things, people and events are judged as ‘good’ because they make us feel good for some reason. Others are equally quickly condemned as ‘bad’ because they may make us feel bad. The rest is categorized as ‘neutral’ because we don’t think it has much relevance. Neutral things, people and events are almost completely tuned out of our consciousness.

This habit of categorizing and judging our experience locks us into mechanical reactions that we are not even aware of and that often have no objective basis at all. Mindfulness is cultivated by assuming the stance of an impartial witness to our own experience. To do this requires that we become aware of the constant stream of judging and reacting to inner and outer experiences that we are normally caught up in, and learn to step back from it.

When you find the mind judging, you don’t have to stop it from doing that. All that is required is to be aware of it happening. No need to judge the judging and make matters even more complicated for yourself.

As an example, let’s say you are practicing observing your breathing. At a certain point you may find your mind saying something like, ‘This is boring’ or ‘This isn’t working’ or ‘I can’t do this’. These are judgments. When they come up in your mind, it is very important to recognize them as judgmental thinking and remind yourself that the practice involves suspending judgment and just watching whatever comes up, including your own judging thoughts, without pursuing them or acting on them in any way. Then proceed with observing your breathing.

"A Machine for Jumping to Conclusions" Exercise (optional)

For one day pay attention to every judgment you make of anything as good or bad. This includes noting that a program or article is interesting or boring, a food is delicious or yucky, a person is irritating or nice, a place is beautiful or ugly, an idea is important or stupid, an event is fun or a waste of time. We all have preferences, what are yours? 

Our mind is continuously monitoring what is going on around us and within us (chances are before this moment you were not consciously thinking about whether your heart is beating regularly or you're getting enough oxygen). This continuous monitoring comes with continuous assessments of situations with little to no effort. We very quickly assess things as safe or dangerous, as threat or opportunity, do I approach or avoid? These are survival questions that stem from our fight-flight-freeze responses and this has not been turned off for us, so we evaluate and make judgements - and unfortunately sometimes jump to inaccurate conclusions. The template for these automatic judgments is rooted in the people, places, and things that we have been most closely connected to throughout our lives - we know what we know and feel how we feel because of when we've lived, where and who we've been around, and how these things have shaped us. 

This exercise is an invitation to bring intentional awareness to a process that is otherwise often running outside of our conscious awareness.

After you have completed this one-day practice, take a few notes about your experience to discuss during the next session:

1. What, if anything, did you become aware of in response to the one-day practice outlined above?

Additional questions for consideration, if helpful: 

1. Are my preferences influenced by my cultural upbringing or context? 

2. Do I hold my breath while typing a text message or email? 

3. What emotional or physical sensations/reactions am I aware of while completing this exercise?

'A Machine for Jumping to Conclusions' is from Daniel Kahneman's book "Thinking Fast and Slow"